Sunday, March 16, 2014

Feeling Helpless

Don't you hate the feeling of helplessness? Like when your car runs out of gas in the middle of nowhere or your child is sick and you can't make it go away. I think we all have times in our lives when we feel down and out. That's when helplessness sometimes kicks in. Well, I'm going through a situation that is eating me alive. It's to a point where I've thought about suicide and putting my daughter up for adoption. I guess a part of me feeling helpless about things is depression. After losing my mom, I really just don't have people to talk to. I haven't really met anyone who just understands what's in my head. That kinda makes me feel helpless too. Sometimes I think, why try to explain to people how I feel about something or why I say/do certain things when I wouldn't be understood anyway? I don't wanna feel helpless though. I do want to feel like I have a voice and can make some kind of difference. I have to get out of that mentality. I'm a mother now, I have a purpose. More purpose. It's just really hard trying to be a new mom, being 21, catching up on life, and figuring out who I am and what I'm about all at the same time. I guess I'll figure something out. Later..
Tia ♥

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